Hurray for me, I have a couple of reasonable goals for 2026!
Been a while, huh? I figured I'd come check in and talk about some of the stuff I've been up to in the past little bit. Might as well make some time to put this website to good use.
So, back at the start of last spring's semester at school, I picked up a novelty out of a passing "hey, wouldn't this be neat?" in the form of a Polaroid Now Gen 3, one of the new-era instant cameras that uses the i-type film and functions more or less as a rechargable Polaroid 600. It's really pretty great — I used to have a huge love of taking pictures, and this thing's given me a reason to try it again. It's still pretty tough getting back into it, and film is *expensive*, so I'm on a temporary break for that — but I'm happy to say I have gotten some really kickass shots, like this one.
The other nice thing about it is that it gives me a reason to actually get out, go into the world, and do stuff, that isn't 1:1 tied to spending money to do something that I will Consume™ and forget about for a while. Getting good at making coffee is great and all, but that's all at home; going out to get coffee and write at the coffee shop is cool, but costs money to do.
With a camera, and some film on hand, I can just sort of go out and create something cool and come back home and not spend anything really additional to just... do it. Granted, like I said, the film is pretty damn expensive — like $20 for 8 shots — but it's a lot better than $8 for a cup of coffee that will be forgotten in
an hour or so after the fact.
I also picked up a really old vintage camera at a vintage store in the area recently, and sprung for some old (expired) film for it, to see if I could get it to work. I think it's a dud in that regard — the film's simply not functional, unfortunately, unless I'm doing something wrong. I emailed the seller to see if they had any advice. If they get me something useful, I'll hopefully have a chance to do something with it over the last four pictures in the roll, and then I can mull over the idea of paying $20 to get film that expired just shy of 40 years ago for the chance to do a cool photo or two. Not likely, but, it's a hope. Hope's good.
I also made the ill-advised, but probably cool in the end, impulse-to-feel-better decision to finance (haha I have GOT to stop doing that) a proper digital DSLR; a Canon EOS Rebel SL3. Entry level professional camera, so that I can take some real pictures and start to do something with it and not have to worry about film costs. Granted, it involves significantly more, more expensive things that'll be a bit of a headache to worry about, but we can burn that bridge when we get there, right? I might put a gallery somewhere of shots I find cool, both film and digital, on the site whenever I get to it.
My other goal this year is to be better about communication. Being able to talk to people and express my boundaries, my wants, and my needs without feeling like I am going to die doing so. A lot of that comes from the need to do so to manage relationships I have difficulty with — my friend whom I have a tough time handling talking to, my mother, stuff like that — and work on preparing my mother for when I end up moving out, because she is going to empty nest HARD and I am not looking forward to that nightmare; but frankly, if I don't, I am going to continue to have my mental health plummet from living in a house that is hoarder hell and just getting worse. But fuck it. We ball.
That's today's update. Talk again soon. Love you.
